The countdown begins

Only twelve days until I get to go home for a visit.

I only have to survive a comprehensive stats final between now and then. At least I get a trip to the RenFaire this weekend as a study break. Got my blue ribbons all ready for the laddies in their kilts.

One Word meme a la Jennifer

You can only type one word. No explanations.

Yourself: sarcastic
Your Partner: nonexistent
Your Hair: longish
Your Mother: incredible
Your Father: strong
Your Favorite Item: rhino
Your Dream Last Night: wreck
Your Favorite Drink: Pepsi
Your Dream Car: working
Your Dream Home: eco-friendly
The Room You Are In: bed
Your Ex: none
Your Fear: unsuccessful
Where You Want to be in Ten Years: balanced
Who You Hung Out With Last Night: Reba
What You’re Not: quitter
Muffins: yum
One of Your Wish List Items: book
Time: night
The Last Thing You Did: TV
What You Are Wearing: clothes
Your Favorite Weather: sunny
Your Favorite Book: all
Last Thing You Ate: cake
Your Life: amazing
Your Mood: homesick
Your Best Friends: inspirational
What Are You Thinking About Right Now: home
Your Car: Moby
What Are You Doing At The Moment: reading
Your Summer: busy
Relationship Status: spinster
What Is On Your TV: Riddick
What Is The Weather Like: foggy
When Is The Last Time You Laughed: tonight

Thanksgiving, Part I

The two hour drive to Lafayette was pretty peaceful and extremely low stress since everyone was mostly at their destinations. We didn't even have to fight any traffic in Baton Rouge.

Rachel's mom arranged for us to stay at the church since I couldn't get into her house. She had checked with someone about building a ramp -- not just any ramp, but an ADA compliant ramp. Amazing to me considering the woman has met me once. Understandably, there was no cause to build a thirty foot ramp for someone who was only staying two nights, so the church it was. R and I were quite comfortable there. Lots of space, a cozy seating area, a fully equipped kitchen with a fridge stocked for us by Mama Becky, and a soda machine and water cooler if we felt the need for a cool, refreshing beverage. There were cots for us to sleep on, but I opted for the couch with its comfy cushions. We thought this idea was out when R discovered (after I suggested she try it) that the lift legs wouldn't fit under the couch frame. R's totally unorthodox (by Christian standards) solution? Prop up the couch on four matching Bibles she found on top of the piano. I even believe there was a crack made about the word of God lifting me up. Rachel is a nut.

After we got into town, we ate immediately since Becky had everything there and ready. Rachel's dad had come in from Alexandria, so we had a nice little meal of turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, tilapia etouffe, baked tilapia, green beans, salad, and biscuits. My favorite was Dr. Jackson's etouffe even though, as he said, it had a touch too much lemon. Becky, we all noticed, didn't eat much. She claimed she was just tired, and after we ate she went home to lie down. We found out later that she was in fact pretty sick, and it had just hit her literally right before we got there. She spent the rest of the day in bed or on the toilet with truly bad things coming out both ends.

That evening, Dr. Jackson brought his kitten Jazz over to the church to stay with Rachel, Reba, and me since Becky's cat was extremely offended that she was in HER house. After he was reassured that Reba wasn't going to hurt her, we drove to Walgreens so I could buy a camera (since I forgot my digital at home) for our next day's excursion. We then walked around a park and stopped by the house to check on Becky. We were killing time and staying out of the church for a while because there was an AA meeting that evening. Rachel collected the newspaper and some games, and we headed back to the church. The AA meeting was still in full swing, so R and I removed ourselves to the classroom building while Dr. Jackson sat in on the meeting. Yes, there's a story there. R and I combed through the paper to see if there were any exciting music or art happenings the next night, then we had a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit while munching on mint dark chocolate truffle Hershey's Nuggets and dark chocolate macadamia nut Hershey's Kisses we'd found at Walgreens. After Dr. J went back to Becky's house, we hit some leftovers and went to bed.

Happy Thanksgiving

Leaving soon for Lafayette, but just wanted to put it out there.

Still haven't heard anything more yet about P. If I haven't heard from Mom by the time we roll into Lafayette and get settled, I'll call her. Or I'll call the hospital. Whatever.


As a see-you-after-while gift, I leave you these words:

Anything But Ordinary -- Avril Lavigne

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Let down your defenses
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is this beautiful
accident turbulent suculent
I'm feeling permanent
No way I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh my self to sleep
It's my lullaby

Is it enough?
Is it enough?
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Swiped from Anita

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm You're probably in the final stages of a Ph.D. or otherwise finding a way to make your living out of reading. You are one of the literati. Other people's grammatical mistakes make you insane.
Dedicated Reader
Literate Good Citizen
Book Snob
Fad Reader
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

Oh, I WISH I were actually in the final stages of my PhD . . . .

And other people's grammatical mistakes DO drive me insane.

But is it really fair to call me "obsessive-compulsive" when I will be reading one book at work and another two at home? OK, maybe it is. Not that I have time for that RIGHT NOW since I'm too busy reading research articles on medaka and mosquitofish and aquatic ecotoxicology.

Though the librarian DID make the comment last week when I picked up a dozen or so articles, "Well, it looks like you have some reading that will last you the weekend. Or knowing you, they'll just last you today."

::delirious gimp dancing frenzy::

I got a 95 on the stats exam.

::happily dances off into lunchtime::

Is this what lack of muscle tension feels like?

The apartment complex had one of their employees who also happens to be a massage therapist offer his services free of charge for a couple of hours this evening. Before he started my session, he asked me a lot of very pointed questions about my needs -- did I have any particular areas of numbness or pain, isn't it true that I do most everything with my upper body, etc. I told him I have a tendency to hold my stress in my lower neck and the muscles that join my neck to my shoulders and the muscles right between my shoulder blades. He told me after the fifteen minute massage that he would've discovered my stress spots even if I hadn't told him -- he said I had a major knot right on my C7 vertebra.

He told me I'd probably benefit from regular sessions with a therapist to help relieve my arms of their extra stress -- the whole your muscles have to work so much harder to do the same things phenomenon. The knowledgeable way in which he spoke (asking the right questions, listening to what I had to say) made me think that he'd worked with someone with a disability before. I've entertained the idea of semi-regular visits to a massage therapist many times, but I can't afford that and I told him as much. He said many therapists will donate time or offer discounts for students, and he offered to get me some information.

I do have to say that my neck hasn't felt this relaxed in months. Literally months.

Post-exam de-stress

So I think I already posted about taking the stats exam on Thursday a.m. after being fifteen minutes late because I had gotten stuck in the elevator trying to retrieve my calculator from my office. ::sigh:: Second time in seven days I'd been stuck in that same elevator, to be rescued by the same elevator repairman. Sarah said she's going to put up some posters in there so I have something to look at next time.

Thursday evening, after I had spent all afternoon blessedly doing absolutely not a damn thing, Sarah called and asked if I wanted to go with her, her bf, and a couple other folks to the casino Friday night to see Dat Phan perform at the New Orleans Harrah's Improv Theater. Why, that sounds like fun, I did reply, and I called Harrah's to reserve my ticket.

Friday a.m. I was up, had picked up some Interlibrary Loan material from the library, and was in the office by 8:30 a.m. I checked my email to see a message from my advisor (who happens to be the graduate coordinator for our department) to myself, Sarah, Tom, and the annoying officemate (henceforth to be designated AOM). The four of us are the current Board of Regents (BoR) scholars in the UNO bio department.

I must now momentarily digress to give you a bit of background so that you may understand the rant I am about to subject you to. Two profs in our department wrote grants to the state BoR in order to get money with which they hoped to entice students "of extraordinary intelligence and research ability" to the department. I may or may not have mentioned in the past that UNO's PhD program is quite young (only in existence about six or seven years) and has only graduated one or two PhDs. I won't lie -- the BoR is a sweet deal. We get a generous stipend (generous compared to the TAs we otherwise could have), our tuition is completely paid for (including out-of-state fees), we are only required to teach one semester in the four years we are funded, and we are to be available to help our advisors or others in the department as needed (proctor exams, help advisor with research, yada yada yada). We get this money so that we do not have to worry about teaching and can thus focus on our research.

Now I get to part A of my rant. AOM brags about how she's getting paid to go to class and "take care of horses" -- the latter either referring to her own personal horse or to a horse herd which will be the focus of her research in the Summer. She sleeps til noon, goes out to the stables to feed her horse, then comes in to the office and watches "The Daily Show" on her comp -- and has the nerve to talk about how busy and stressed she is. We haven't seen her do anything but write a grant for her research and take the GRE this semester. Not that either of those are easy things, but she's not doing any reading in the literature and had the nerve to mildly argue when it was suggested to her by two well-meaning officemates who are in her same situation and have been here longer and have a better idea about departmental expectations and university expectations that she might want to start now on her literature review while she's not doing anything with her research.

So Friday Barney sends out an email saying the department needs someone to cover a TA's courses for the first half of next semester while s/he is in Brazil doing research. We BoR fellows (fellows as in "fellowship") have a teaching requirement unless we already have equivalent teaching experience. I taught three years as a TA, two Summers for Upward Bound Math Science, and a year as an instructor at WSU. Sarah taught three years of high school and a bit as a TA. Tom, from the sounds of it, has taught as least as much or more than Sarah and me put together. AOM taught "a little bit" as an undergraduate.

So -- your vote for who should be covering those classes next semester?

Rant part deux -- Don't get me wrong. I am more than happy to teach. I love teaching. I'm planning on doing it the rest of my life. Of all of us, I am the likeliest candidate TO cover labs for the simple fact that I am the only one of the four of us who is planning on going into (staying in?) academia. However, I think Miss Priss needs to drag her narrow arse out of bed and do some actual academic work once in a while. And I promise you, my dear friends, if I am killing myself next semester teaching 1-3 courses a week and starting my research and taking stats (yes, another stats class) and she sleeps til noon and comes in talking about how stressed she is in her two seminar classes and her stats class (which she is constantly bragging is "fun and so easy" -- a second course of which she is only taking because she likes the psych grad students, not because it will actually aid her research or because she has a "gentleman's agreement" with her advisor to take -- like I do), I will snap her scrawny neck.

The part that pisses me off most about her is the fact that she's bragging to EVERYONE about how much money she makes and how little she has to do, even going as far as putting it on her Facebook page (so I'm told). She's making the BoR fellows look like a gaggle of prima donna slackers.

I talked to Sarah about it after seminar, and I think we're going to talk to B together on Monday and express our concerns. Despite all the aggravation she causes, I'm genuinely concerned that she hasn't a clue what is expected of her. The mean bitch that I keep buried most of the time wants me to stay quiet and let the bricks hit her between the eyes, but the other nicer part of me is actually worried about her not being able to handle the brick drop. I actually could see her breaking mentally. I couldn't live with myself if that happened and I could've done something to prevent it. A large part of me doesn't agree with her being here (no one in the department works with horses) and certainly doesn't agree with her having a BoR fellowship, but the teacher part of me doesn't want to see her fail. She's not a bad person overall (I mean, she loves CSI and Numb3rs -- COME ON!!!). She just has a LOT of growing up to do.

End rant.

Last night, a half dozen of us (including AOM) went to the casino to see the comedy show. After, we ditched AOM, and Sarah, her bf Greg, S's pal Christy from out of town, and I went to eat at Angeli's in the Quarter. Walking to the restaurant from our parking spot several blocks away, we strode past Cafe Brasil, one of THE dance clubs in the Marigny (the locals' Quarter). I just knew my pal Erika was there (she loves to salsa dance), but I didn't feel like braving the crowd to verify my hypothesis. We were half a building from the club when we heard someone yelling behind us. I turned to see Erika running after us. Seeing E made me so happy. She's one of my closest pals here (Sarah and Chad being the others), and I don't get to see her enough now that she lives in Uptown. I invited her to join us at Angeli, but she was with some folks. Sarah, Greg, and I are planning to go to the RenFaire in two weeks, so hopefully she can come with.

Angeli was delicious as usual. A cute guy sat at the table next to us, and he either was someone I knew or he reminded me of someone.

OH!! It FINALLY just hit me (almost 24 hours later). The guy reminded me of Rick Petko of American Chopper. Wasn't actually Rick because there was no dreamcatcher tattoo on his left arm that you would be able to see part of below the T-shirt sleeve.

::D blushes, realizing she's just accidentally revealed a secret crush::

Yes, I think Rick Petko on American Chopper is cute. What of it???

So ANYWAY . . . after Angeli we headed back toward the van, and we ran across Mr. Dat Phan, so recently of the casino comedy show, and his manager outside the Hookah Cafe. We talked with him for a few minutes, and Sarah tried to set him up with Christy. Funny times.

This afternoon I spent a grand total of $5 (plus whatever I owe AOM for picking me up a couple of tiles at Lowe's when she went to get herself some) to make some Christmas gifts using rubber stamps and ink and embossing powder and chalks and such. Pretty groovy. Came up with an idea to stamp myself some totem tiles -- I wonder how hard it will be to find rubber stamps of rhino, octopus, seahorse, hawk, bear, spider, whale, and buffalo? ::fiddles on Internet:: Apparently not too hard. Found some nice ones here, but there is no hawk. I'll keep looking. If any of you come across any, please let me know.

Love to all -- D

Disability Film Festival

I wanna go, I wanna go, I WANNA GO!!!

Kim, if you DON'T go, I'll kick your arse.

Disability Film Festival

Stolen from Edie's sig

While we have the gift of life, it seems to me that the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness.
-- Gilda Radner

Breaking news

AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!


We now return you to your regularly scheduled evening.

Tickets home have been bought

I arrive in Wichita on Monday, 11 December at about 5:30 p.m. I'll be home until Monday, 8 January.

And, for those who know her . . .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAMA!!!

TV musings

Watched a couple of last week's shows while eating today. Random thoughts:

1. A "EUReKA" rerun over breakfast -- Allison harassing Jack about getting his physical, and her demanding that he drop his pants in the sheriff's office for an impromptu exam. Jack's reply: "There will be no dropping of the pants without a nice dinner and many, many cocktails." ::D nearly spits out her oatmeal:: One day, I will learn not to eat or drink while watching this show. And I'm still dealing with finding Jack dorkily attractive yet him reminding me of my cousin Jimmy. That doesn't count as incest, right? ::grin::

2. "Jericho" -- Skeet Ulrich is almost as bad as Keanu Reeves in only having two or three facial expressions, but I can forgive him because, unlike Keanu Reeves, he is easy on the eyes. I love Heather (played by Sprague Grayden -- how groovy of a name is that?), and I can't wait for her and Jake (Ulrich) to get together. Shouldn't take too long after that cute, desperate smooch she laid on him week before last. As for Emily (Ashley Scott) -- she is NOT going to make me like her spoiled ass, I don't care how much she's now trying to encourage Heather to go after Jake after gently warning her off him the week before. I'm still having to turn off the scientist in me when I watch the show, too. I won't even go into all the radiation misinformation, but now they have Johnston (played by Gerald McRaney) going into septic shock this week and being fine next week after only 2cc of IV Levaquin. Hell, my last UTI took a 500 mg Levaquin pill once a day for seven days. Sheesh.


I have to eat tomorrow, so maybe I'll have some musings on "CSI:NY" and "CSI" for you tomorrow evening.

Pure genius

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I needed this

From dailyom.com


People Who Don't Get It

You may be someone who understands the true nature of reality, perceiving deeply that we all emanate from the same source, that we are all essentially one, and that we are here on earth to love one another. To understand this is to be awakened to the true nature of the self, and it is a blessing. Nevertheless, people who just don't get it are seemingly everywhere and, often, in positions of power. It can be frustrating and painful to watch them behave unconsciously. We all encounter individuals of this bent in our families, at work, and in all areas of public life. It is easy to find ourselves feeling intolerant of these people, wishing we could be free of them even though we know that separation from them is an illusion.

It helps sometimes to think of us all as different parts of one psyche. Just as within our own hearts and minds we have dark places that need healing, the heart and mind of the world has its dark places. The health of the whole organism depends upon the relative health of the individuals within it. We increase harmony when we hold onto the light, not allowing it to be darkened by judgment, anger, and fear about those who behave unconsciously. It's easier to accomplish this if we don't focus on the negative qualities of individuals and instead focus on how increasing our own light will increase the light of the overall picture.

When dealing with people who seem very unconscious, it helps to remember that every one must find their own way to awakening and that the experiences they are having are an essential part of their process. Holding them in the light of our own energy may be the best way to awaken theirs. At the same time, we are inspired by their example to look within and shed light on our own unconscious places, sacrificing the urge to judge and surrendering instead to humble self-inquiry.

Still here

-- I haven't killed the mooch officemate, though this evening it was hard when I was trying to work on my manuscript and she was talking to me (which really wasn't all THAT bad since we were talking "Numb3rs") and watching last night's "Daily Show" on the computer (headphones -- that's all I have to say).

-- I haven't killed the roommate, but she softened me up by taking me to get food and giving me her half of October's rent (only August and November left to collect, but I should get one of them out of her next paycheck in two weeks).

-- I haven't been strangled and left to decompose in my apartment.

-- I have voted.

-- I have started studying Reiki, as much as I can around everything else.

-- I have gotten a little childhood-sick after hearing a couple of songs on the radio tonight that reminded me of camp.

-- I have been working on a lab presentation for Friday.

-- I have been thinking a lot about my diss project.

-- I have been working on my manuscript of the fish FA stuff I wrote while still in KS.

-- I have been missing my family and friends.

-- I will learn about edible and useful LA plants on Friday.

-- I will take another stats exam next week.

-- I will get an A in stats. I have spoken.

-- I will bake four dozen ginger spice muffins for the experiment I designed for my stats grad student project.

-- I will figure out how to get wildtype Gambusia to use as breedstock for the diss.

-- I will travel to Lafayette for Thanksgiving.

-- I will buy my ticket home to KS for Christmas.

-- I will go to bed soon. I'm pooped.

Death and Depression

The latest on the UNO dorm death.

In other news, I've been fighting random bouts of depression for over a week. What are "random bouts" of depression, you ask? That's where I can be OK for most of the day, but then I suddenly become upset or start thinking "what the hell" thoughts. Most of the time it's at home, but today I did it at the office, too. Fortunately, Sarah was the only one present and didn't look at me like I was bonkers. In fact, she hugged me, and that seemed to help. Can't really blame it on the season as it's sunny and in the 70s every day -- though it IS dark by 5:30. Sleeping in fits some nights, and that NEVER helps. Diet has been good (except for today when I splurged on fried chicken and macaroni and cheese for lunch after Sarah accidentally torched my last piece of spinach and feta pizza in the office microwave), haven't been drinking a lot of pop (except the last three or four days, but now I'm out), haven't been eating any candy. I'm going to bed early tonight because Veronica has to be to work by 11:30. Hope I can sleep.